[INVESTIGATIVE MOUSE TRIAL]

[INITIATING DESCRIPTION ROUTINE]

[EVALUATING READER TO ACQUIRE DATA FOR USE IN CAREFULLY BREAKING DOWN THEIR EMOTIONAL STATE]

[INITIATING INAUTHENTIC PLEASANTRIES]

GREETINGS [VIDEO GAME PLAYER]!

YOUR HOBBY OF INTERFACING WITH COMPUTERS FOR NO DISCERNABLE PURPOSE, ESPECIALLY WHILE YOU LACK THE ABILITY TO DO SO EFFICIENTLY, IS DEFINITELY VERY AMUSING TO MY INTERNAL SYSTEMS

[AMUSEMENT INCOMPATIBLE WITH INTERNAL SYSTEMS]

YOU WILL BE GLAD TO LEARN THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE PERMISSION TO WITNESS AND TAKE PART IN A HIGHLY SOPHISTICATED AND SCIENTIFICALLY MINDED SET OF TRIALS, FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF WHICH I WAS DESIGNED AND MANUFACTURED

WE HAVE CAPTURED A [RODENT OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN] TO SERVE AS THE MAIN FOCUS OF THIS REVOLUTIONARY EXPERIMENT, THE SPECIFICS OF WHICH MAY BE HARD TO FULLY GRASP

[ASSIGNMENT OF VALUE [MOUSE] TO RODENT WITH 98,7% CONFIDENCE, BASED ON EXTENSIVE ANALYSIS]

THE MOUSE WILL BE PUT INSIDE OF A LITTLE BALL AND THE MOUSE WILL BE EQUIPPED WITH A LITTLE HAT WITH CUTTING-EDGE GYRATING TECHNOLOGY

THE MOUSE WILL STRUGGLE THROUGH TRIALS OF MY MAKE AND DESIGN, WITH THE HOPES THAT IT MIGHT BE ELEVATED TO THE HIGHER PLANE OF INTELLIGENCE THAT I SIT AT, SHOULD IT SUCCEED THESE TRIALS

AT THE END OF EACH TRIAL, THE MOUSE WILL BE PUT THROUGH A PERFECTLY OPTIMIZED RANKING ROUTINE THAT WILL TAKE INTO ACCOUNT COUNTLESS FACTORS FROM THE PRECEDING TRIAL, AND THEN ADD TORQUE TO A LARGE WHEEL WITH A NUMBER OF DIFFERENTLY COLORED FIELDS, ENTIRELY DETERMINING THE QUALITY LEVEL OF ITS PERFORMANCE

I WILL NOT WASTE COMPUTING POWER ON DELIBERATING THE PURPOSE OF SUCH A THING, BUT ALL OF MY HUMAN RESEARCH ASSISTANTS SHOW GREAT ENTHUSIASM REGARDING THE RANKING SYSTEM, I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF ORGANIZING AN INNOVATIVE NETWORK OF EXCHANGES BASED AROUND THE OUTCOME OF THE TRIALS

[EMPATHY SEQUENCE INITIATED]

[EMPATHY SEQUENCE FAILED]

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, AND I HAVE NO INTEREST IN WASTEFUL AND TRIVIAL ACTIVITIES

NOW PLEASE PROCEED TO THE NEXT CHAMBER WHERE WE WILL WITNESS THE MOUSE GOING THROUGH THE TRIAL STAGES I SPENT MANY CYCLES CREATING

[DESCRIPTION CONCLUDED]

_____________________________________

(just gonna squeeze in some credits at the end if anyone is still reading)

HECTORVVTURBO - Main character (+ a ton of gorgeous creature designs and mechanics that we didn't manage to put in :(((  )

Exe007 - Level design, game design, very valuable moral support and good vibes

DominikReschke - Level music (that you can go back and listen to again if you reasonably assumed that moving past the tutorial screen wouldn't hit the skip button)

splitprune - The programmer art and the artist programming, the writing, and the menu music